TOUGH SENSITIVE AND CONTROVERSIAL ISSUES continued...
SEXUAL HARASSMENT: A Warning For
Serial Offenders -
To those who are skeptical, you may not be
paying attention. To those who are offended, I offer no apology. To those who
are disturbed by my opinion, you’re welcome. To those who wonder if I am
writing about their firm? I don’t
know, am I? To those who say a man and a Republican cannot understand this
issue, I ask who is discriminating against whom?
To
those who say “how could you know this or prove it?” Since 1977, I’ve interviewed, counseled, hired, or placed
10,150 law students and lawyers from schools throughout the nation who were
heading to 200 of America’s most famous large and boutique firms. Every year I
meet with more than 100 women lateral candidates and 150 women law students.
The
volunteer their experiences and ask for advice. I listen, reflect, compare and
see unmistakable patterns in human behavior within the profession. That’s the
basis for my opinion. What’s the basis for yours?
To
those who whistle and cat call women on the or ask them to come around their
desk to “look at my documents,” I have three comments.
First, you have no idea how hard a properly
trained woman can hit you - particularly if she is descended from a Marine
officer who boxed competitively.
Second, if you want a supplementary lesson, come
to my office. But wear your Depends or bring a mop and tell your crew they can
pick you up at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in 10-14 days. Send your dental
records to momma so you can be identified more easily when they sift your
remains.
Third, that wasn’t original or funny in
The Seduction of Joe Tynan,
and it’s not original or funny now. To the male partners who fancy themselves
Masters of the Universe and DealMeisters who have been transformed by their K-1
into someone who is attractive to women - get a grip on yourself. It is not any
different than the Sadie Hawkins dance30 years ago where no girl called out your name. Without that business
card in your wallet and the name on the front door of your firm you’re still
the dork you were in 8th grade. I know it. Women know it. Both of your ex-wives do too. Consider it
a professional courtesy that we’ve let you in on the secret. And,
to the law firm partner who called five years ago and offered to “teach me a
lesson I won’t ever forget,” because of a woman’s accusations concerning his
conduct, I’m still waiting for
you. I’ve got a 64 pack of Crayons so I can take down your advice. You know, the one with the built in
sharpener just in case you have a lot to say.