Death by Diction

    Make every effort to banish slang from the workplace and all forms of written and oral communication. Forgive the partners if they are offended by someone who uses the word “like” 23 times in 30 seconds as a verb, a noun, a gerund, a state of mind, and a verbal tic. It makes you sound like a poorly educated teenager trapped in a mall. While you’re at it, skip the shorthand messages on emails that are used frequently in your text messages with friends. A few years ago I met with a law student with an impressive record who mis-used the word “like” 132 times in a 30 minute counseling session. It was excruciating.

     For the sake of emphasis and clarity, I’ll be the first to admit that our generation butchered the English language as well in our own special Seventies Slang. For example the following compares how my generation might have expressed the same thoughts about interviews of the current generation.

2009 Slang - Like dude they were, like, bizarre. They were full of like, freaks. I like wanted to get the hell out. I was, like, wow. But, like, the second firm rocks – like totally cool. Gonna pay me like bookoo bucks. The 411 was right.  That first place was full of like wingnuts. The hiring partner was baked. Listen blue tool gotta  check my vitals and earjack some of my crew.

1975 Slang - You know dude it was heavy. Got to get down. It was whacked –a spaz factory full of  zipper heads – they gotta get real. Just a major bummer –. But that second firm was funky they know how to freak out. Bad. Solid. Funkadelic. Tubular. Can You Dig it? Check you later. Gotta keep bookin’ and keep on truckin’.

You’re not Eminem or Fifty Cent and I’m not John Travolta or an extra from West Side Story. Stick with clear, traditional English. Are you down with that? Kewl.