In every group there is a central, key person referred to as the nexus of the group. For example, a group of friends are all connected through John, the person who knows everyone in the group. As a result, he becomes the leader or center of the group, the person to whom all others might look to as a catalyst or motivator.  Bob and Paul are part of “John’s group”, but would not likely have contact with each other without John’s initiation.  In other words, Bob and Paul are friends through John.  In this group John is the nexus or center of influence.  In networking we learn a particular person is the nexus of a group.  Everyone seems to know and like that person and they have considerable influence in a group.  So if you are invited to a group by a person with a very strong sphere of influence or who is a genuine nexus, it might be easier for you to establish relationships within that group.  

Related to this concept are strategic alliances and pre-existing relationships that might have occurred from other contacts or networking.  An example is siblings or couples who join groups or go to meetings together.  It’s a kind of “strength in numbers” situation, and is part of the reason we might choose to attend meetings and events with someone else rather than alone.  As we form, build, and develop relationships we will inevitably run into those people in other networking situations.  Over time they become allies and even friends.  These strategic alliances allow us to feel more comfortable, introduce our new “friends” and meet people in their pre-existing network.

As we spend more time in a group we might move closer to the center of the circle, the nexus.  The more we attend a group regularly the easier it is to have influence and power within the group.  When I started in one networking group I was one of 40 other attendees.  As time passed, I spoke to the group and was on the steering committee for the establishment of new chapters.  In addition, I volunteered to be speaker chair of one chapter, facilitator for another, and greeter at another.  All of this involvement allowed me to know more members, raise my profile within the group and to become a nexus and center of influence.  

With increasing nexus positioning comes the potential for a wider sphere of influence.  As we establish strategic alliances we become more bonded and loyal to the group.  Another aspect of this is making yourself valuable by connecting or introducing people who might have potential value to one another.   You can become a “gateway” to people and industries who are in your sphere of influence.   People who take leadership positions enhance the value of the group for themselves.  Get involved, be dedicated, a hard worker and competent.  All of these factors increase our chances for more referrals and other business activity.  One of the best ways to raise your profile in a group is to get involved.

There are a number of specific things you can do to get to a center of influence.  If you do all of them on a consistent basis, you will not only get to the center of influence, but you will become a center of influence.  These factors are as follows:

•    Listen more than you speak. Be interested and interesting.

•    Try to find out the hobbies or passions of centers of influence and ask open ended questions about these passions.  People love to talk about themselves, especially things they are passionate about.

•    Always be respectful of the person and their time.  Don’t keep people waiting or talk too much.

•    Be positive, pleasant and likable.  Others are much more likely to let you into their ‘inner circle’ when they like and trust you.

•    Show up early and stay late to events in order to increase the likelihood you might be able to have a one on one conversation with the center of influence.  You can also become a nexus by consistent attendance.   A group develops a nucleus of people who attend regularly, and you will become part of the nucleus.
 
•    Ask to be introduced not only directly to the nexus, but to people who might be gateways to them.

An example will illustrate how people become a nexus in a group.  I started a speakers’ consortium which originally had a list of ten potential members.  Some of these never attended a meeting, and were ultimately dropped from the list.  Some had minimal attendance, and were not known by everyone in the ‘core’ group.  Of that original ten people, only four attended regularly.  Those four people became the nucleus of the group.
The primary importance of the nexus concept is that you should establish a positive relationship with the nexus of a group in order to be successful within that group.  Because the nexus usually has a wide sphere of influence, it is to your advantage to know and get along well with that person.  It is preferable to become the nexus of a group to maximize your influence and the ensuing benefits.  Ultimately, it’s not who YOU know, but WHO KNOWS YOU!

Bill Saleebey, Ph.D.
Regional Manager, Corporate Relocations
American Relocation & Logistics

www.drbillsaleebey.com

wsaleeb@aol.com