Tough Sensitive and Controversial
Issues -continued
Sex, Romance & Reality
I strongly recommend that you not date or have an intimate
personal relationship during the summer with a partner, associate, summer
associate or staff member. And, do not act in a way which could be viewed as
inappropriate or harassing by others. If it is true love between you and
someone else it can survive a quiet summer. At best summer romances of any kind
can be distracting and messy. At worst, they can put your career at risk.
Proceed with caution.
And in case you believe you can “keep it quiet” - you can’t – there’s nothing
like the hint of secret romance to get the gossip machine running at full tilt.
Professional firms are intense and gossip-filled environments. Think Junior
High School with a better cafeteria. You do not need this additional element of
distraction during your summer
. I’m not a Puritan or
a fundamentalist preacher studying Billy Sunday sermons in the spare time I don’t
have. There’s room for romance in the work place. People in law firms get
married all the time and it seems to work out as well as it does in ‘the
general population.’ But as a student in a summer program there is just too
much at risk to invest in a romance with an attorney. There are too many things
that can go wrong and put your offer at risk. If the attraction is that strong
and the romance that deep, some patience might be good for all concerned.
Sexual Harassment
Confronting
and Reporting - If a
lawyer or client tries to initiate a relationship, makes a pass, or takes an
inappropriate interest in your career,
immediately report their conduct to the partner in charge of the
summer program.
Hiring partners understand the explosiveness of these problems, will treat you
with respect, and act on your behalf. Do not opinion shop with colleagues or
try to remedy the situation by soliciting advice from associates.
Be candid, straightforward
and accurate in what you say. These are difficult situations. Invariably the
summer associate feels under tremendous pressure and fears they will be ‘at
risk’ if they report untoward advances. It’s difficult to deal with it as the
target. But to ignore the conduct is the wrong choice.
Scope of the
Problem This is tough and
sensitive issue is under-reported in law firms. Women summer associates are
often reluctant to report approaches by partners, associates, or clients. In
all likelihood the offender ❏
has done this before with other junior lawyers, staff, and summer
associates and ❏ is artful
about concealing his behavior.
The offender could be
anyone from third year associate to a partner in senior management. They may
deny the accusation, claim that they were misunderstood, and discourage you
from taking any action. These stratagems are as old as dirt. The misconduct can
be in a 1:1 setting, in a group meeting, inside or outside the office. Law
firms have a far better track record of dealing with sexual harassment today
than they did 10-20 years ago. But the problem is still significant.
The chronic offenders
are often clever senior partners with powerful friends who for some reason
believe that they will get yet another hall pass on misconduct. Their peers
either live in fear of their own positions or tolerate the misconduct because
they believe “oh well Bob isn’t that bad...” Note to management: Bob is that bad - and he’s probably
worse. But Bob is clever, Bob has friends, and $5mm in business, knows where
the bodies are buried, and keeps a shovel in the trunk of his car. . So we don’t
want to bother Bob do we?
There cannot be any
tolerance for misconduct. No three strike rule. There can’t be a double
standard - as there seems to be in the military - where enlisted and junior
officers are keel hauled for “fraternization” but generals and admirals seem to
get a perpetual hall pass. If a firm decides to ignore misconduct by its senior
members it sets a standard which is as discouraging as it is offensive.
Why do I feel
strongly about this subject? I’m a 56 year old white male who plays into more
conservative stereotypes than most people can imagine. I’ve been a Republican
since birth. I like Toby Keith, Taylor Swift, riding a horse in the mountains
of Wyoming, and anything that’s been grilled. I have a picture of Dick Cheney
and Gerald Ford in my office and I think Reagan should be on Mount Rushmore. I
don’t get NASCAR and I think our
current President has gotten a lot of things right and he’s got my unqualified
support. Don’t assume someone’s political affiliation dictates their views on
this subject - or any other for that matter.
There are two reasons
I feel strongly about the issue of sexual harassment in the professional work
place.. First,
every year I meet 1:1 with 150 women law students and associates and each year
5-10% of them tell me that they have been the victim of harassment. The tactics are as old as
dirt and highly predictable. They’re often afraid to come forward, particularly
in this job market.
Second, I have a daughter who will enter the
professional world in a few years and has already encountered her fair share of
cat calls from construction workers and guys hanging out car windows on the
streets of Chicago. She can take care of herself - big time - she spent years
on the national fencing circuit, can hit harder than most men I know, and runs
50 miles a week at a speed that
99% of the population can’t begin to match.
There’s no template
for identifying individual wrongdoers or toxic environments. But a student
should know that it can happen as easily in a “liberal” or a “conservative
firm.” It can happen in a firm that has an adroit PR machine which obtains
awards from magazines that label
it “Women Friendly” or “Family Friendly” and it can happen in the toughest
culture on Wall Street. It can happen in the cold institutional mega firm or
the warm boutique down the street.
Women are often - as
was the case 35 years ago — “discouraged”
from taking action. They’re told that they misunderstood and that the partner “was
just a little drunk and a little out of line.” They’re summoned to meet with a management committee member
who encourages them to do nothing.
The conduct is not
confined to firms with a conservative tradition or image. It is seen as often
in firms with allegedly great “cultures” who spend a lot of time and money
cultivating their public image of generosity and equanimity.
It’s also seen in
recruiting - primarily with mid level and senior associates drinking late at
night while entertaining law students who have been recruited to the firm. It’s
seen in the office where interviewers ask female students for a date or act
suggestively or inappropriately. It’s often brushed off with “boys will be boys”
or “no harm, no foul.” That could
not be further from the truth.
Of course it’s not
confined to women as the victim.
Male associates have been harassed by male and female partners. But my
hunch is that 90% of the victims are female associates who have been harassed
by male partners. And it’s not confined to partners. Every year I hear examples
of firm clients who harass women associates - and often the firm seems to be
more concerned about maintaining the flow of billings than they are about their
own lawyers.
In the 1994 film Disclosure, Michael Douglas plays the role of a
mid-level executive in a tech company caught in a complicated romantic
situation with a female senior executive played by Demi Moore. This is not a
Gone With the Wind caliber
movie - but it’s worth watching just for the line about the essence of sexual
harassment. He said ‘It’s all about the power.” And that’s still true today.
To be sure, enormous
progress has been made since the mid 1970's. But we are at a rest stop in a 50-100 year journey where
there is no room for complacency.
Organizations, initiatives, articles, books, programs and the like have
pushed law firms in the direction of progress - but some firms have done so
unwillingly and insincerely.
Some would rather
wrap themselves in the glowing garb of awards than deal with Bob down the
hallway. Others believe “well we
have a committee on that.” Some think you can write a check and make the
problem disappear by being a “Gold Sponsor” at a benefit while not tackling the
internal issue. Others believe that awarding women the title of partnership but
not advancing them to the ranks of running the only committees in the firm that
mean anything - operations, compensation, partnership and finance can Band Aid
the problem.
Some firms game the system by not breaking down equity and
non equity partner ranks for law firm surveys. Others load up administrative committees with women partners
but never dare to populate the ranks of the committees that count with a woman.
Some confuse the issues of harassment and power.
My generation is just
about out of the toaster in terms of initiating major structural changes.
Senior management approaching retirement are rarely interested in investing
large blocks of time and money in anything that has a longer-term return on
investment than their own tenure in the firm. And bluntly, many men over the
age of 50 have non- working spouses and just don’t know why women even want to
work. Others have wives who work and they wish they did not.
Kim Munley a woman police officer at
Fort Hood Texas taught us all a lesson in courage and character when she
confronted a deranged army officer trying to execute dozens of soldiers. She
ran to the sound of the guns, was wounded three times, returned fire and hit
the gunman four times - a remarkable feat for anyone using a handgun in combat
conditions.
What’s
the first thing she did when the gunfight stopped? She handcuffed the assailant
and called for medical attention to him. Wouldn’t have been my first choice.
The second thing she did was to grab her cell phone to alert the family that
she’ be late picking the kids up from school. The number of men law firm partners who could do the same
and have not served in the military could comfortably fit in the trunk of my
car.
The
women of your generation have all the skills and all the ambition and I’m proud
to be able to watch you tackle what we could not handle.
The
race will go to the persistent, the creative, the relentless, the adventuresome
- but most of all it will go to women who find, build and manage their own
client relationships. When enough
women have enough business to sit down at the poker table of law firm
management that’s when progress will have been made in away that will make the
profession sit up and take notice.
Take the journey. Make the effort.
And don’t stop until you’ve won.
Here’s
a guess: the wake up call that works may come from the woman CEO of a major
client who pulls a $10 million relationship because she finds the conduct
within your firm inconsistent with how the client insists its vendors
behave. At the end of the day all
of us are vendors. Just depends what you are selling. “Bob” may be in deep
quicksand. But heck he’s an
internet ranger - he’ll figure a way out.
NEXT WEEK – A WARNING FOR
SERIAL OFFENDERS